The Revolt of Vincent and Gregory
by dobbyfan18
Summary: Crabbe and Goyle find a copy of GoF, and are outraged to see that they're described as Draco's cronies. I tried to be loyal to canon, but please don't murder me if I made a mistake.
1. You mean we should levitate?

The Revolt of Vincent and Gregory  
  
ÒGoyle! Goyle! Look what I found!Ó Crabbe emerged from behind a couch in the Slytherin common room. Though it was anyoneÕs guess what he was doing down there to begin with, it was quite clear he was excited. In fact, he was almost unreasonably excited. Pansy Parkinson and her friends were backing away as though they didnÕt want to catch his insanity.  
Crabbe held up a book. It had several stains on it, but there was also, on the front, a picture of Potter. It was, admittedly, crude, but you could tell he was holding a wand. Behind him were the other Triwizard champions. He handed it to Goyle, who flipped through it.  
ÒMuggles,Ó he said in disgust. ÒBut --- hang on --- weÕre mentioned! It says.... we looked like moss-colored boulders at the Yule Ball... says weÕre DracoÕs ÔcroniesÕ.... and we only exist to do his bidding! Who is this J. K. Rowling, anyway?Ó  
ÒEr --- Goyle, whatÕs a cronie?Ó  
ÒI think maybe itÕs an old lady... Dunno. CanÕt be very nice, whatever it is...Ó  
Montague, who was passing, told them the definition of cronie.  
ÒHmph! DÕyou think we should tell Draco?Ó said Goyle.   
ÒNah. After all, weÕre only his cronies....Ó   
ÒAnd while weÕre at it ---Ó  
ÒAt what?Ó  
ÒWe just found out that the Muggles know about Hogwarts and they donÕt think weÕre important, remember?Ó  
ÒOh, yeah, thatÕs it.Ó  
ÒWell, maybe we should kind of --- rise up.Ó  
ÒWhatÕs that? We should levitate, you mean?Ó  
ÒNo.... It means, like, stop being DracoÕs friends. If he thinks weÕre his mindless cronies, then letÕs show him we can be whatever we want.Ó  
ÒOh, I get it. But --- IÕm not sure I can be different. Professor Snape told me once that I was doomed to a life of being a cashier at Florean FortescueÕs.Ó  
ÒWas that the time he spilled some of your Scintillating Solution on himself and he got a third-degree burn and purple pimples?Ó  
ÒErm --- yeah, I think so. But I think I can try to not be DracoÕs bodyguard.Ó  
ÒGood. IÕll try hard, too,Ó replied Goyle.  
  
*** 


	2. TURKEY!

The next day on their way to breakfast, Draco was telling his "friends" about the latest gossip among the Death Eaters.  
"So, Father says that we'll be able to join as soon as we graduate, assuming we know enough decent curses by then." "UNNhhh," commented Crabbe, raising his eyebrows. He hadn't eaten for eleven whole hours, and wasn't very perceptive at the moment.  
Goyle, on the other hand, found this a good time to put the plan into action. Fumbling around and finding a 3x5 card in the pocket of his robes, he read choppily, "Draco, what makes you think we'll join with you?" "Yeah," said Crabbe, who had come to slightly at the sight of food as they entered the Great Hall and was now reading off the back of his hand.  
"Why, it's your destiny, you know that. There's nothing you can do, even if you didn't want to join. Although, I don't see why you wouldn't," said a startled Draco as the threesome sat down at the Slytherin table.  
He turned to his cronies for a reply and found none, as they were stuffing their faces at the moment.  
"Please leave a message and we'll get back to you," Goyle found time to grunt.  
Draco blinked in confusion, took a bite of toast, and daintily wiped his mouth with a napkin. Crabbe and Goyle might not live up to the standards of his superior upbringing, but at least he could.  
Crabbe gave a huge swallow, and read again off his hand, "We do have lives of our own, you know." "Cronie isn't our full-time occupation," added Goyle.  
"Oh really?" sneered Draco.  
"And to make you see that that's the truth, we aren't going to be your bodyguards for the whole week," continued Goyle.  
"But ---" "No buts," said Crabbe firmly as they left the Great Hall.  
Draco turned around and faced his cronies-no-more, and opened and closed his mouth a few times without any sound.  
Just then, there was a loud cry of, "TURKEY!" from behind them. Crabbe and Goyle turned and saw what was going on just in time to flatten themselves against the wall as an absurdly oversized gobbling bird dashed past, Hagrid hot on its tail.  
Draco, however, hadn't had the sense to move, and so he turned heel and ran as the turkey pursued him down the corridor, gobbling madly.  
"Well," remarked Goyle.  
"Well indeed," said a nearby Hufflepuff.  
The crowd that had gathered dispersed as everyone headed to classes.  
Yet even as they traversed the Charms corridor, they could still hear distant shouts of, "My father will hear about this!  
  
Wahoo, I finally updated! Ceeeeeeeeeelebrate good times, come on! Please review, and you have Philosophi Lapis to thank for the update! Disclaimer: I don't own anything mentioned, not even the nearby Hufflepuff. ;-( AAAAAAAH, attack of the lemon-eating emoticons!!! Please note: All nearby Hufflepuffs are immune to Kleier syndrome until further notice. Ta-ta! Potato! And grrr, the uploading mechanism thingimabobber is "malfoyfunctioning" .... again. So I hope you don't mind clumpy paragraphs!!! 


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